A Wife For My Husband

Just so you know, my hubby will be totally taken care of in the event of my death.  Not that I plan on going down that path any day soon, but it pays to be prepared.  Bear actually has planned it all out, which came about as follows:

On our way to church several Sundays ago, we spotted a car stopped with their hazard lights on.  In the car was a very attractive woman and her two small children who’d run out of gas.  Being the knight in shining armor that my husband is (after 23 years, I still really like that guy), he volunteered to get her gas from our garage.  Bear was beside himself with excitement.  The thought of helping a pretty lady was almost more than he could take. 

On the way to get the gas, he says, "You know, mom, she’s VERY pretty….I’d say you are #1 when it comes to pretty and I’d put her as #2.....Except for in the mornings, then she’d be #1."

Well, gee. Thanks so much. I had a good thing going until that morning part.

We got back to Pretty Lady and Bear helped his dad carry the gas can and fill up her tank.  He hopped back in the car and announced, "I’M A HERO!" He was very proud to say the least and still very taken with the beautiful woman.

I’d just about recovered from being demoted to #2 Pretty status when Bear says, "Ya know Mom, I bet if you weren’t around, Dad would marry her."

Whoa Nelly.  Say whaaaaat??

Needless to say, that woman mysteriously disappeared from our area. 

Ha, just kidding!

So, I haven’t felt too secure in the looks depart since this 'pretty' incident, and I'm rethinking that fuzzy plaid purple bathrobe I wear every morning. I do know that if something happens to me, Bear will make sure that my babe has an instant replacement. 

I bet she won't wear a fuzzy purple bathrobe.

And she’ll be #1 Pretty. 

❤️, Elizabeth

I love the purple bathrobe. 

Introducing.....The Bear

I've been struggling on how to properly introduce The Bear.  He's 10, and there's no description that fits this combo of blunt, wild and wonderful, other than maybe picture Jack Black meets Robin Williams with a dash of Charles Grodin all rolled into one child. There are so many stories I could tell but when I ran across this tribute I once wrote, I thought it may be the perfect way to give you a glimpse of a typical day of my life with The Bear.   

I think you're going to like him...

A MOM'S TRIBUTE

Thank you, Mr. Policeman, for not arresting me in Kroger parking lot, when, to my horror, my Bear yelled to you, 'HELP! I DON'T KNOW THIS WOMAN!'

Thank you, Mr. Fireman and company, who raced to my house to put out the nonexistent fire that was exaggerated by my Bear bursting out of the front door in his pajamas screaming, 'OVER HERE! THE FIRE IS OVER HERE!' when I had simply burned the zucchini.  No fire. Nope.

Thank you to my innocent friend, who never knew that my Bear had filled his water gun up from the toilet bowl when he shot you in the face, for your patience and apparently hardy immune system.

Thank you, elderly man in Kroger, (yes, a lot of things seem to happen at Kroger), for simply smiling at me in my time of exasperation when my Bear wouldn't listen.  I thought you were flirting with me in a subtle way (because I am usually only hit on by the 70-80 age range these days, if at all) but actually you were probably politely thinking that you may need to call for the manager because in my frenzy I was putting all my groceries into your cart.  Good times.

Thank you to the woman in your early 30s who has yet to figure out that your 'match' on Match.com is actually a 10 year old who has snuck onto the internet and created an account with some random guy's picture.  We'll just keep it our little secret. 

Lord, I pray that you give me reminders in my time of frustration with the Bear that one day I'll miss his antics.  I pray for patience and the ability to see the humor in all situations.   And that he always knows how much he is loved.

And peace, Lord.

Yes, Peace.  And Bacon.

Oh Lord, do I need a little peace.

Amen.

❤️, Elizabeth