The Junk Food Junkie Diaries

A PEEP INTO THE LIFE of a Junk Food Junkie who has decided to eat healthy and get fit.  

The Day Before:

Naps instead of making grocery list. (Guys, it's Sunday). Is very grumpy. Is supposed to have groceries to cook in bulk by 6 pm- still has not made the list.

Cries about 5 pm. Overwhelmed at thought of not having french fries for a long time.  Two other family members who are already nice and fit have decided they want to do the program too, so Junkie has to make an additional two other meals to her one.  Food prep up 66%. Or something like that.  Doesn't like math either.

Cries again, blames it on sad episode of Cake Boss.

Finally makes grocery list at 9 pm.  Texts it to oldest son who is out and tell him to get these items so family will at least have enough for breakfast and lunch.  

He brings it.  Junkie wishes she’d just have given him the whole list but knows he would never bring home the right things (he once brought home FAT FREE cheese - NO), so just gave him the basics.  Now still have to go to grocery tomorrow.

Tries to figure out the color coded box system which comes with the Beach Body 21 Day Fix that Junkie has signed up for. Was hoping they'd just send her a new bod with the program. Hates the boxes. No new bod in there. Wants 10 blue boxes, only gets 1.  Blue box gets cheese.  Who can live with only a tiny box of cheese?

Already feeling withdrawals even though had Mt. Dew and Pringles while making the grocery list. Goes to bed feeling ashamed for being so grumpy with family.  While in bed looks at Facebook, sees member of the Beach Body group has started a day early.  Pics of food prep and sweaty selfie after her workout.  Dislike her immediately. Carolyn. Remember that name.

Official Day 1:

Wake up still grouchy and overwhelmed. Tell hubby his usual oatmeal is within the program and he can have that. Hubby looks afraid to talk to Junkie and politely leaves for work.

Must have coffee before making any decisions.  Thank goodness it’s on the program or someone might get hurt.

Day 3: 

Rest of Day 1 and Day 2 a blur.  Slightly remembers feeling like passing out during workouts.  Workouts not helped by 10 year old on roller blades circling around Junkie during the workout video, yelling, ‘Come on, Mom, even the fat lady on TV is doing better than you.’ 

Child may or may not have been duct-taped to the couch.  Who knows, still a blur.

UPDATES TO COME: (dramatic voice) - Will Junk Food Junkie make it through the 21 days??  Will family be fed at all?  Will rollerblading child survive?? Was he actually duct-taped to the couch???)  Stay tuned, there may be another installment in the Junk Food Diaries.  Or Junkie may have quit by tomorrow, in which case, this series is over.

If Elizabeth, er, I mean 'Junkie' continues this diet,  I"m going to Grandma's.